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| The saddest thing in the world, is loving someone who used to love you.
The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost
Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.
When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is
anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it.
My problem is that I appeal to everyone that can do me absolutely no good.
If you want to get things going, you gotta do what it takes...
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| Say what you want and be who you are because the people who mind don't matter and the people who matter don't mind." | | |
| Im currently really frustrated with all thats going on around me. Im so glad I didnt take the winter session at school, or else I really dont know how to handle everything at once. Today I dealth with getting my car to the body shop so it wont be on the streets anymore, after some frustration I got it over with. Thinking back that day on Janurary 9th, I have no clue what got into me that day. I guess as cautious and careful you try to be, accidents do occur. After being sad for a few days I got over it. After all, its not how you fall but how you get up that matters. Im just thankful that I have so many good friends who care about me so much that it makes me feel that maybe im not so alone. Makes be believe the phrase "Its not what you have, but who you have in life" more and more. Asside from the car accident, I still cant add classes for my Spring semester. I kinda wish that classes can just arranged for me like it was in high school. Then again, I guess when u get in the real world its all about taking actions yourself and making plans. Speaking of school, im still deciding where I want to go next year. Should I still apply to go study in Beijing for a year? Or should I go to England instead? As much as I want to see the world, do I really need to live there? As bad as Northridge is, I can always drive around to see my friends. Ahhhh so much decisions to make. I guess I can still just apply and make the decision later when I need to.
Speaking of applications and filling out stuff. I havent start on any of them and they are generally like 8 pages long with essays I need to write. So thats 2 study abroad application I gotta deal with, not to forget the application to study in Taiwan for the summer.. so thats 3. Then there is the Traffic ticket paper I gotta write pleaing innocent by written trail so I have a chance of not getting points on my License. This is a ticket for an illegal turn, has nothing to do with the recent accident.. hahaha.. so much trouble comes with having a car. Last but not least, I got my sister on my tail about getting the Financial aid application done. Dont really want to deal with it yet, but my sister need it and my parents are buggin me to help her.
Away from all that, there is the money and relationship stuff thats troubling my mind. As far as relationship goes, I have no clue what im doing. My brain tells me to do one thing while my heart leads me down another path, its really frustrated trying to figure out who's right.... my heart or my brain...what a weird feeling. After the relationship stuff, there is money. I guess its not just money, its being active and progressive as well. I think this past year I have become so comfortable with the life of being unemployed. Whatever happend to those days where I lived like shit, ride my bike to work, take the bus around and some other stuff. I really need to just get back on track, go find a job and learn something useful. Who woulda thought that after getting my car again, i would become more lazy and too concern with having fun and no work. I currently feel as though if i was someone else knowing wat im thinking, i would be dissappointed at myself. hahaha.. i dunno if that make sense.. but whatever. Anyways, its a new year... that means its a new start. Hopefully 2006 will be a more productive year than 2005.
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| http://mmc.daumcast.net/mmc/1/500/0200349002306h.wmv
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| Why are we so stupid sometimes as humans. Why do we stay attached to things that are not good to us. Its like logically, we know wat is good and bad. However, emotionally and physically... we stay attached to whats not good for us. Emotions can be such a bitch sometimes, it makes us cling to what is comfortable to us. Over and over again, I tell myself I need to move on and quit my job and just do something else, and I finally did. Dec 5th will be the last day I work at Banana Republic. So for December, I can take a nice break and hopefully travel around a little. Then there is 6 weeks of intense classes. After that, Im gonna try to find a more suitable job that I like. As far as my relationship life is going, I have no idea wat I want, that is the part im clinging to. How can I like someone who is constantly just full of excuses. Has anyone ever have someone they just want to believe in so much but time and time again they just dissappoint them???? Even worst, that person always denies responsiblities and says its not their fault that this happened around them, or this other person is causing there lives to be a certain way. But then no matter how stupid, irresponsible and childish the excuse sounds over and over again, you just belive them over and over again because you dont know what to do but accept them for who they are. However, no matter how hard you try to see them they way they say they are, you cant help but be bothered. Why do we put ourselves through pain when there really is no reason to? Sigh..... maybe I just really need to get a life and another object of interest. Afterall, you cant quit cigarettes over night even though its not good for you. Just gotta find the right lollipop take your mind off it.......... I hope i find my lollipop soon because I hate being emotionally upset about nothing..... | | |
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